Hillbilly Song

I am drunken bozo, despicable thing,
A barrel of beer one dollar per gallon that sounds like “ding”.
I’m soused forever, from morning to night,
I smell like a catfish that was out of water, but feeling alright.

I am educated enough to play darts,
A banjo and poker are just an example of my dazzling smarts.
I wear for Christmas my blue overall,
My bristle is three days of age but it’s not Hollywood style at all.

I’d kill anybody who rattles my world,
My riffle is ready for action and sleeves are menacingly furled.
A couple of targets I hung in backyard:
Barack’s lovely picture with Junior Bush and some other retards.

I have wife and children, the F-something truck,
My lawn trimming tool is a product of science and mighty as fuck.
When all said and done, I will rest in peace
Transformed to a flowerbed fertilizer. No chemicals, please.